My Baby Brother's Family

It's just so sweet...I love this picture!!!

Welcome home, Marshall Thomas!

 

*grin*

Ben keeps saying, "Did Uncle Timmy name really name his new baby Marshmallow?"

 

:o)

 

Lyrics

My brother and his family were shocked to learn that they were expecting a baby.

And while, at the time it was terrifying, everyone had become so thrilled to welcome this new person into our lives and hearts.

 

Yesterday, that little person was found without a heartbeat.  I've written before that our family's love doesn't begin or end in death or birth.  And, in this tiny life lost, we grieve. 

We grieve for the little person that could have been.  We weep for the pain my brother and sister-in-law are feeling.  We feel betrayed by the promise of life.  We feel violated and robbed from missing the chance to be part of this little one's life. The good side is that we, as a family, don't grieve alone.  The bad side is that because we grieve as a family, we ALL feel this hurt. 

Sitting at work, sleep deprived, but unable to explain this hurt and loss to coworkers, this song came on in my queue from my internet radio.  It was then that I went to the bathroom for that UGLY cry we all like to pretend we don't have.

 

 

 

The Father has a plan, though it's hard to see it now.

You feel you're walking all alone, but He is there no doubt.

When the storm around you rages, and you're tossed to and fro,

When you're faced with life's decisions, not sure which way to go...

 

Stand Still

and let God move

Standing still is hard to do

When you feel you have reached the end, He'll make a way for you

Stand Still and let God move

 

When the enemy surrounds you, and the walls are closing in

When the tide is swiftly rising, and you wonder where He's been

There never was a moment, His arms weren't reaching out

You can rest assured, and be secure God is moving right now

 

Stand Still

and let God move

Standing still is hard to do

When you feel you have reached the end, He'll make a way for you

Stand Still and let God move

 

The answer will come, but only in His time.

Stand Still and let God move

 

 

We live life so casually, forgetting just how fragile we really are.  That something can throw our life to a tailspin in the blink of an eye.

 

Hug your babies today, people.

 

 

Last week, we got snow.  Yay! 

Last year, neither of these two wanted ANYTHING to do with it.  THis year?  We couldn't keep them in the house!  Yes, Ben is in his jammies...when I told him we needed to change his clothes before we went outside (it was the first light of the day...don't judge!  *wink*), he told me, "Mumma!  There's no time!~Just get my coat!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was as if he was worried we would miss the snow if we didn't get outside right NOW.  :o)

 

Life is fleeting.  If we don't step outside and enjoy it RIGHT NOW, instead of waiting until we're ready to face the world, we may miss it.

 

This little man teaches ME.  Every Day.

Less...lesson 1 - FOOD

My first Lesson Plan for Living On Less is centered around food.

Tasty Snack- Labor Day Camping

I didn't realize how tough it would be to find pictures to go with this post!

When I became a (step)mom, something strange happened.  I became a food hoarder!  I don't really know how this happened, because it truly seemed to have just been a switch that was flipped. 

Just before I was married, I had been living on my own for TEN YEARS.  In that time, except that I kept a water filter pitcher in the refrigerator, I may not open my refrigerator for WEEKS at a time.  I was single, and life was simple.  I moved my foodstuffs over to our new home in two grocery bags.

Then, sometime during our first summer, I started NEEDING to buy more & more food.  My grandma's knack for a good deal started working for food and snacks instead of new shoes and handbags.  If I found a good deal on something my family would eat, I went crazy.  Is that Sweet Baby Ray's Barbeque Sauce on clearance two bottles for a $1?  I'll take twelve!  Sheesh - this liquid gold is usually $3-4 a bottle, so I just saved our future selves TONS of money!  Then, a week later, it's still on clearance?  I'll take 6 more!  I know we haven't cracked the seal on a single one yet, but we MIGHT SOON.  And, when that day comes, I'll be READY.

...yes, I'm serious...

Last winter, we decided to update our old ice cream freezer, and buy a real ice chest.  I moved (*gulp*) THIRTY packages of hot dogs from one freezer to the next.

In a YEAR, I haven't purchased any new - and we still have FOURTEEN packages, and that's after giving my sister a grocery bag full of her own.

But they were only 10 packs for $10...I bought them...constantly. 

I have learned that I can get them for this price about 4 times a year, so when I get in a pickle, if I'm only patient, they'll be cheap again.

But...wowzers.

When we were newlyweds, I had a small closet and our refrigerator for food.  Now, I have all of that, as well as a large deep freeze, and a massive shelving unit in the laundry room overflowing with food.

It's time to wrangle this in...the problem is that all of the food I've purchased is like the BBQ sauce - it's food fixin's to help MAKE other foods.  This is gonna be tough...

I've decided no "food makers" will be purchased until this is cleared by at least 50%.  That means LOTS of barbequed foods, and recipe searches that need black beans and beef broth - maybe not together. *wink*

Daddy's Helper...and a year of less...

I just love this little man!  He just  makes me giggle every day.  He wears me out every day.  He's the strangest little person, and it's just amazing to see him become a person.

 

 

What a great helper...

...

 

 

...

So, in my attempts at a year of less, there is one thing I'm really trying to make more...and that's posting.  I think I need somewhere to check myself - to see if I'm making progress, and record these moments in my life.

I like the idea of being able to connect to people on MY terms. In this format, it's always been a comfortable access point for me.  I think because the "time" I share with people in a blogging environment isn't dependent on me being in the SAME MOMENT as those I'm connecting with - in all honesty.  I don't have to take time away from that handsome snow removal man (and his Daddy), to truly connect with other people.  And, I truly feel I can connect this way.

I will be making a move toward LESS this weekend.  I haven't decided how I will use this blog in this process - to snap a photo or not?  Who knows...let's wait and see...

A Blended Christmas

This picture, of our children, speaks to me. 

This picture was taken on Sunday, during our Big Boys' Christmas Program at church.  Aside from the idea that these children are on the altar, and worshipping in their way during this holiday season, it's the fact that these four children will forever be connected by the choices of the adults in their lives, but that they are still just children.

The little girl is my big boys' sister.  They spend half of their time with her and their mom, and half their time with Ben and us.  When I think in terms of ME, the relation between us is irrelevant.  But, to them, they are a confused, strange unit.  Ben cannot understand how his brothers have a sister, and he doesn't.  He's been making up a sister, and her name changes every day.  One day her name was Olaf, and she lives in the "North Cold" in an igloo, another day her name is Monkey, and I've never met her because she lives with her mom in a treehouse.

I can't decide if this is cute, or sad.  So, I've decided that I'll let him decide that- that's not my choice to make. 

As a tiny guy, he realized the big boys went away to the same lady every week.  He's asked them who she is, and they, of course, have said, "That's our Mommy."  And so, he calls her Mommy.

This makes HER feel bad - she admitted that she would be heartbroken if her kids called someone else Mommy.  I guess that emotion never occurred to me.  When I questioned it once, I said, "But Ben, I'm Mommy."

His response?  "No, you're Mumma.  Her name is Mommy."  I realized that Mumma means something - Mommy is just a name.

These 4 kids will always be connected.  It's up to us, the grown ups that have tossed them together, to help them learn the values of that connection.

Welcome to 2015!

I'd like to say that I have big plans for 2015...but I don't.

Ben and Olaf inspecting the new Jeep

I'd like to say that I have big goals for 2015...but I don't.

 

We had a wonderful Christmas.  Our boys were loved and enjoyed.  Our house is so full of lego, and trucks, and R/C Jeeps that we can't begin to figure out where it all should go.  We took time to sit and watch movies - just hubby and I, as well as with the kids (we may have watched Frozen 3 or 4 times in the last week *grin*).  We spent time with our families, and a lot more time just in our house.  We even had one day that no one got our of their pajamas!  I think this is what this season is about - getting cozy, snuggling in, and sharing space with one another.

This new year has somehow managed to sneak up on me.  I absorbed the time I was able to spend with my family, time spent teaching my son to play Candyland, making baby gifts for the little ones we're adding to extended family this coming year, and dabbling in knitting for ME. 

I have loved the idea of One Word Resolutions since the first time I heard of it - you pick a single word as your focus for the year, instead of giving yourself yet another to-do list.

Just this morning, I saw one that - after my weeks spent searching - has FINALLY struck the right cord!!! 

That word? 

LESS.

I want less negativity.  I want less distractions, so I can find what God has planned for me.  I want less dependence on money, and its joy-sucking abilities.  I want less anxiety that we're doing right by our child(ren), and whether our house is clean enough, or educational enough, or loving enough. I want less clutter - both literally and emotionally - that gets in the way of truly knowing what they need in this exact moment.

I want less baggage that I carry around just to validate my worth, or to find unwarranted pity (if that's even the right word?), so I can sleep peacefully at night.

I realize this is an odd word to pick, but it's one that I can use as my focus, to help me start moving toward where I need to be.