Heavy Hearted

Last week, I mentioned much of my childhood was spent with my Gramma Mac, and on her front porch.  My mind had been drawn to these old memories for many days, without any real reason.

And then, the reason found me.

Aunt Barb - in the hospital, not expecting to wake in the morning.  That was Wednesday night.  She left this Earth yesterday, and is now in her long-awaited HOME.

When I got the call late Wednesday night, I sat stunned.  I reached out to my brothers and sister, and they also sat, stunned.  My sister said, "I was sure Aunt Barb would outlive me."

Aunt Kay, Gram, and Aunt Barb

The thoughts that have ravaged my brain have been overwhelming.  I remember, that even as recent as last summer, Aunt Barb always, ALWAYS would stop what she was doing to greet me when she saw me, no matter the circumstances, or what she was doing.  

And, while I'm speaking of her specifically in this loss, this isn't a quality that she carried independently.  This is something that ALL of my aunts have mastered.  They ALL have always made me feel, "Oh, you're here!  Now the party can start!"

Same picture, from the other side. :o) Aunt Kay, Aunt Mitty, Mom, and Aunt Barb

God truly blessed me with women in my life that are a portrait of POWER.  
Women that have shown me that being a woman is a gift from God, and a call to be both strong AND gentle.  To be kind AND silly.  

That we, as women, will not be defined by anything - not even by ourselves. 

That love doesn't begin or end - in the womb, or the grave- and that these two things are not isolated events, but part of a circle that continues through the ages, exactly as it should. 

That joy doesn't come from only the good times, but from persevering through the bad times with joy and peace that can only come from God's grace.  

These women have taught me to KNOW I can love my boys (my stepsons) as my own because of who they are, and not because I gave birth to them.  And that it is my DUTY to love them as they are, because it is how Christ loved us, and it is how they love me. 

"People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will NEVER FORGET how you made them feel."

--Maya Angelou

Fall Camping...and it's awesomeness...

Two weekends ago, we took the boys camping. 

Fallamping...is that a word?  CAN it be? 

Fall camping is so different than regular summery/beachy camping.  You get serious use out of your fire pit, and snuggle in for the evenings.  Thankfully, we have our fancy-pants camper that has a FURNACE.  This was our first FAMILY fall camping trip, but I can see MANY, MANY more to come...


Fireside Snuggles with my Favorite Little Camper


Regular, beachy camping is always fun- the boys wander the campground looking for kids to bring back to our site, and they spend their time just BEING KIDS.  But, fall camp is different.  There were only a handful of people in the park, and kids (besides ours) were non-existent.  So, this trip was all about FAMILY time.  We spent time playing with the scores of hot wheels cars that are a permanent camping accessory (it's amazing, but they truly occupy boys of ALL AGES), drinking hot cocoa together, and sitting snuggled at the fire. 

No King Of The Hill - it's King of the Sticks!!



Andrew (the middle) was SO excited to climb trees!!  I don't think he stopped grinning for 24 hours!


The boys took advantage of the "trails" that began at our site, and still went on a mission to BE BOYS, but because it gets darker sooner, they didn't wander as much, unless we went with them.  They took the chance explore, but on a smaller scale.

One evening, we took a "late night walk," at about 815pm...whoooo!  :o)  We made mugs of cocoa, and ventured out with lanterns and flashlights to see some Halloween decorations, and just talk.  It amazes me everytime we do something like this - to see the PEOPLE they are becoming.  They're kids, and they learn things all the time, but once they've learned the walking/talking/communicating stuff, I think sometimes we forget to really stop and see who they are being molded into, and this was a chance for me to just walk, and listen.

It was a pretty amazing moment for this (step) Mom / Aunt.  :o)

Oh yeah...I should probably mention...my nephew Jacob is also on the list of permanent accessories for camping.  :o)  He's the big kid in all these pictures. 

30 + 3!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

I just love that Ben and his Aunt Ria have the same birthday.  In my mind, it will make this strong connection that is so important - a connection to that ONE FAMILY MEMBER, that is outside your home that makes you a special person to them.

This person, for me, changed often.  When I was VERY young, it was my Great Grandma Mac.  I spent more time with her than almost any other relative - in my VERY young years...we would sit on her front porch, and count the cars that passed by...I spent so many evenings like this.  Falling asleep on Gramma Mac's front porch...

I really wish for moments like that for my boy(s) - that they will have a relationship with someone that surpasses age, that helps BOTH of them connect with people in different walks of life.

Happy Birthday Aunt Ria, and Ben!!!