Heavy Hearted

Last week, I mentioned much of my childhood was spent with my Gramma Mac, and on her front porch.  My mind had been drawn to these old memories for many days, without any real reason.

And then, the reason found me.

Aunt Barb - in the hospital, not expecting to wake in the morning.  That was Wednesday night.  She left this Earth yesterday, and is now in her long-awaited HOME.

When I got the call late Wednesday night, I sat stunned.  I reached out to my brothers and sister, and they also sat, stunned.  My sister said, "I was sure Aunt Barb would outlive me."

Aunt Kay, Gram, and Aunt Barb

The thoughts that have ravaged my brain have been overwhelming.  I remember, that even as recent as last summer, Aunt Barb always, ALWAYS would stop what she was doing to greet me when she saw me, no matter the circumstances, or what she was doing.  

And, while I'm speaking of her specifically in this loss, this isn't a quality that she carried independently.  This is something that ALL of my aunts have mastered.  They ALL have always made me feel, "Oh, you're here!  Now the party can start!"

Same picture, from the other side. :o) Aunt Kay, Aunt Mitty, Mom, and Aunt Barb

God truly blessed me with women in my life that are a portrait of POWER.  
Women that have shown me that being a woman is a gift from God, and a call to be both strong AND gentle.  To be kind AND silly.  

That we, as women, will not be defined by anything - not even by ourselves. 

That love doesn't begin or end - in the womb, or the grave- and that these two things are not isolated events, but part of a circle that continues through the ages, exactly as it should. 

That joy doesn't come from only the good times, but from persevering through the bad times with joy and peace that can only come from God's grace.  

These women have taught me to KNOW I can love my boys (my stepsons) as my own because of who they are, and not because I gave birth to them.  And that it is my DUTY to love them as they are, because it is how Christ loved us, and it is how they love me. 

"People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will NEVER FORGET how you made them feel."

--Maya Angelou