He's So Proud...

You cannot know the joy when we passed this lovely "lady" at The Wal-Mart on a slow-paced Tuesday night before Thanksgiving.  Almost every evening, before bed, he asks, "Mumma, can you please show me my picture with Elsa?"

When I show him, he pets the phone, and says, "she's so pretty...she's my girl, you know..."

*grin*

Tiny House Dreams

In recent weeks/months, I have become OBSESSED with the idea of Tiny Houses.  Have you seen/heard of this?

Basically, people are building homes that would fit in the average family room these days, in pursuit of simplicity, financial freedom, and maybe a little bit of retaliation against "the machine."

:o)

Don't get me wrong - I love my home.  It's small, but not too small, in a wonderful neighborhood, close to all our family, and it keeps us warm and safe.

But, I feel myself being trapped by the STUFF.  Things.  I don't know if it's a phase, or a quiet scream for simplicity in my complex world, but it feels like a craving, in my soul, to find this simple life.

Every once in awhile, I get a gnawing pull to toss out everything that's not essential in my home, and start from scratch.  My fear is that in doing so, I'll only panic about not having said STUFF, and will have just thrown out things I thought I didn't need, and will create large sums of debt I don't NEED to get more STUFF that I don't NEED.  *sigh*

I guess I'm not really ready for a tiny house.  We have our boy(s), and that complicates things.  It's frustrating to know that all three would be just as happy with a box full of hot wheels and some free time versus an entire room in our home dedicated to JUST THEIR TOYS.  And that we have room after room stuffed with things that we rarely use, and still hear the words, "I'm bored," every week - whether they be from the mouths of the little ones, or rattling inside our own head. 

The idea of homesteading has rattled my cage a bit, but I don't think I'm THAT committed just yet.  I still want a grocery store nearby (we are both far too forgetful to abandon that convenience), but I don't want to buy 4 different kinds of cereal, so that each boy gets their fill of their favorite.  I think my biggest annoyance is TIME.  There never, ever seems to be enough free time for us.  And, when we HAVE it, we spend it exhausted and drained from all the work it took to create this free time.

We have created plenty of quantity, I want quality.  But, except for dropping EVERYTHING and just jumping in, I can't figure out how to do that.  I find myself SOOO envious of those with the courage to stop, look up, and say, "I'm done with life like this.  Let's do it OUR way."

There is no real REASON for this post...it's only my thoughts...and my desire to find a FIX.

Jesse Tree...ish?

Well, this year, I had every intention of doing a Jesse Tree (if you've not heard of it, google it - it's pretty great!)!

 

I was drawn to the idea of reminding our boy(s) what CHRISTmas is ACTUALLY all about, but still have the kitchy, fun vibe to go with it...bible lessons, placed on a special Christmas tree?  Perfect!

 

Well, I'm fairly sure that Halloween and Thanksgiving were only a week apart this year...and you won't convince me otherwise!  I think I blinked, and suddenly the next Holiday is upon us...then, I went and got pneumonia.  What it boils down to is this Momma never made the ornaments, found a spare tree, nothin'.  Go figure...I want to do something that focuses the holiday on Christ, and things pile up against me to make it happen. 

But I REFUSE to allow the devil the upper hand in this!  While at the drug store, picking up my FULL GROCERY BAG of prescriptions (even with excellent prescription coverage, the cost was still $80), I noticed this un-imposing, Mickey Mouse Advent Calendar thing.  Now, I have never known the purpose of these calendars, but I've always secretly wanted one to share with my kid(s).

A lightbulb exploded in my brain! 

THIS is PERFECT! Cheeto's chin and all!

 

So, when we got home, I made a mad-dash for google, and found these itty bitty Christmas ornaments that you're supposed to add a backing, and color all pretty, and hang on your adorable Jesse tree:

http://forthemommas.com/articles/free-jesse-tree-printables-3

 

But, why, oh why, can't we make it like a little trade?  Ben colors the picture, he gets the little snack treat to trade for the picture he colored, and hears the devotion for the day.

 

Coloring - Each day he's used a different hand :o)

Devotion - with the Bible to Guide

 

Sorry, I'm sick - I took the pictures over 2 days...this is the Candy Trade portion of the event.  :o)

Now, the biggest fear I had was to find devotions to use.  Unfortunately, because of my missing month, and pneumonia, I had a list of the scripture that was intended for each day, and the "tags" from the link above, but I hit a giant knot in my throat...how do I make this suitable for a 3-year-old??

 

On our drive home from the drug store, I prayed (yes, I do that a LOT...pray while driving...),"Lord, you know that I want to do this with my boy(s).  Please, help me find devotions that are simple, will keep their attention, and that are FAST - so we don't have the worry of running out of time, or making time an excuse not to do this...

 

And, boom!  When we got home, I found this:

http://onewiththepastor.com/2014/11/29/simple-jesse-tree-devotions-for-preschoolers/

 

It's perfect...it's accurate, but not too precise for growing minds.  It's only a half-page of "story" each day, not including the scripture, so it's quick (each day has been 5 minutes or less - which to a 3-year-old is PERFECT), and...my favorite part - it has a "Talk About" point, and a prayer for each day. 

 

The "Talk About" points are simple, but clear.  Things like:

 

Dec. 1: Jesse (Isaiah 11:1-2): When is it hard to wait for something? How can we be better at waiting when we are really excited about something?

 

Dec. 5: Abram to Abraham: What are some things that are hard for you to do?  How can God help you with them?

 

So far, it's just been Ben & I.  Tonight, we add the big boys...and I'm nervous about it.

 

Hubby gave me the genius idea that in future years, we can use Ben's Halloween candy to "trade" for the story/tag.

 

I'm excited to see what becomes of this!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Heavy Hearted

Last week, I mentioned much of my childhood was spent with my Gramma Mac, and on her front porch.  My mind had been drawn to these old memories for many days, without any real reason.

And then, the reason found me.

Aunt Barb - in the hospital, not expecting to wake in the morning.  That was Wednesday night.  She left this Earth yesterday, and is now in her long-awaited HOME.

When I got the call late Wednesday night, I sat stunned.  I reached out to my brothers and sister, and they also sat, stunned.  My sister said, "I was sure Aunt Barb would outlive me."

Aunt Kay, Gram, and Aunt Barb

The thoughts that have ravaged my brain have been overwhelming.  I remember, that even as recent as last summer, Aunt Barb always, ALWAYS would stop what she was doing to greet me when she saw me, no matter the circumstances, or what she was doing.  

And, while I'm speaking of her specifically in this loss, this isn't a quality that she carried independently.  This is something that ALL of my aunts have mastered.  They ALL have always made me feel, "Oh, you're here!  Now the party can start!"

Same picture, from the other side. :o) Aunt Kay, Aunt Mitty, Mom, and Aunt Barb

God truly blessed me with women in my life that are a portrait of POWER.  
Women that have shown me that being a woman is a gift from God, and a call to be both strong AND gentle.  To be kind AND silly.  

That we, as women, will not be defined by anything - not even by ourselves. 

That love doesn't begin or end - in the womb, or the grave- and that these two things are not isolated events, but part of a circle that continues through the ages, exactly as it should. 

That joy doesn't come from only the good times, but from persevering through the bad times with joy and peace that can only come from God's grace.  

These women have taught me to KNOW I can love my boys (my stepsons) as my own because of who they are, and not because I gave birth to them.  And that it is my DUTY to love them as they are, because it is how Christ loved us, and it is how they love me. 

"People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will NEVER FORGET how you made them feel."

--Maya Angelou

Fall Camping...and it's awesomeness...

Two weekends ago, we took the boys camping. 

Fallamping...is that a word?  CAN it be? 

Fall camping is so different than regular summery/beachy camping.  You get serious use out of your fire pit, and snuggle in for the evenings.  Thankfully, we have our fancy-pants camper that has a FURNACE.  This was our first FAMILY fall camping trip, but I can see MANY, MANY more to come...


Fireside Snuggles with my Favorite Little Camper


Regular, beachy camping is always fun- the boys wander the campground looking for kids to bring back to our site, and they spend their time just BEING KIDS.  But, fall camp is different.  There were only a handful of people in the park, and kids (besides ours) were non-existent.  So, this trip was all about FAMILY time.  We spent time playing with the scores of hot wheels cars that are a permanent camping accessory (it's amazing, but they truly occupy boys of ALL AGES), drinking hot cocoa together, and sitting snuggled at the fire. 

No King Of The Hill - it's King of the Sticks!!



Andrew (the middle) was SO excited to climb trees!!  I don't think he stopped grinning for 24 hours!


The boys took advantage of the "trails" that began at our site, and still went on a mission to BE BOYS, but because it gets darker sooner, they didn't wander as much, unless we went with them.  They took the chance explore, but on a smaller scale.

One evening, we took a "late night walk," at about 815pm...whoooo!  :o)  We made mugs of cocoa, and ventured out with lanterns and flashlights to see some Halloween decorations, and just talk.  It amazes me everytime we do something like this - to see the PEOPLE they are becoming.  They're kids, and they learn things all the time, but once they've learned the walking/talking/communicating stuff, I think sometimes we forget to really stop and see who they are being molded into, and this was a chance for me to just walk, and listen.

It was a pretty amazing moment for this (step) Mom / Aunt.  :o)

Oh yeah...I should probably mention...my nephew Jacob is also on the list of permanent accessories for camping.  :o)  He's the big kid in all these pictures. 

30 + 3!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

I just love that Ben and his Aunt Ria have the same birthday.  In my mind, it will make this strong connection that is so important - a connection to that ONE FAMILY MEMBER, that is outside your home that makes you a special person to them.

This person, for me, changed often.  When I was VERY young, it was my Great Grandma Mac.  I spent more time with her than almost any other relative - in my VERY young years...we would sit on her front porch, and count the cars that passed by...I spent so many evenings like this.  Falling asleep on Gramma Mac's front porch...

I really wish for moments like that for my boy(s) - that they will have a relationship with someone that surpasses age, that helps BOTH of them connect with people in different walks of life.

Happy Birthday Aunt Ria, and Ben!!!

This Moment...

Everything about this picture makes my heart sing.  This is what fall is all about.  :o)

Cast Your Cares

At our church, we use the King James Version (KJV) of The Bible.  This, we believe, is the last TRULY ordained by God version.  I know there are many varying opinions on this, but we also want to be sure that everyone is on the “same page,” almost literally, when we speak in terms of the scripture. 

The concern being that if one version of the scripture has a different interpretation than what is being used, there isn’t any disconnect with the congregation.

However, being a learner still (aren't we all?), and my own desire to truly understand my own beliefs (to make sure I’m not basing my belief on “because someone SAID so,” but because I’ve researched it myself), I will often review other versions of scripture, and just see what the differences are.

While browsing pinterest this morning, I was slammed with a HUGE, amazing, wonderful insight!!!

There was a meme (is that what they’re called?  The pictures with words things) that looked like this:

So yes, 1 Peter 5:7, KJV or otherwise, still means the same.  

Because God loves/cares for us, He will help us carry the load of our anxiety.

Now, I was pretty sure that the KJV didn’t say ANXIETY, and I was pretty sure of what “my” version said, but it gave me a moment to consider the intent and semantics of the verse, and it blew my mind.

The KJV version says, “Casting all your care upon him, for he careth for you.”

Semantics…I love them…

Typically, when we read/think/share this verse, we speak the emphasis on the word YOU.  So, the important point we see is that Christ cares for us.  But what if we move that emphasis from YOU, and put it on the word FOR…

Boom.

In my words…Cast your care on Him, and He’ll care FOR you. 

\Do you notice the difference? 

To me, it becomes an amazing lesson!  Instead of it being about how God loves us, and He’ll help us, it changes to mean that if we give the anxiety, worry, hurt, and cares to Him, He can TAKE IT FOR US.  It’s not that He’ll just hang onto it, and give it back when we’re stronger, but that He will take it FOR US. 

Let Him care FOR you.  Let Him worry FOR you.  Let Him hurt FOR YOU.

Like I said – BOOM.

This Moment...

No words to explain, just a picture - a moment in our life.

I have so many thoughts running through my head - none that are helpful, or useful, or even relevant.  It's a new year, but that hasn't really "sunk in" yet. 

Spent lots of time with this little man, and his Daddy, and big brothers over the Christmas break. 

It makes coming back to work so much harder than it's ever been before.  I feel an ache in me that's not been there in years past.

I want to try and keep a better log of life -both mine, and his - through this year. 

But today, I just don't have it in me.  I have frustration and anger. 

I'm angry that I have to miss time with him.

I'm angry that I want to be home with him.  It feels like I'm letting down the women through time that have worked so hard to make it possible for women like me to work outside of the home, because it was what they desperately needed.

It's ICKY.

And my brain is in a terrible place.  It started the evening of  New Years, knowing that I wanted to have an amazing new start to the year, but that so much of the time I want to be home is spent working. 

I know, this isn't a post for a new year.  I should be starting with a better attitude.  But, I can't pretend that right now.