Intentional...

In my regular Monday browsing of the blog world, I stopped by a blog hop, and found the blog of an amazing woman that has taken my vain, and whiney life, and turned it on its head.  (Here) is her blog, if you want to see...

I spent what felt like HOURS just picking apart every single little nuance in her life over the last year or so (yes, I went a bit stalker...), and (whether good or bad) comparing her faith and passion to my own.

In myself, I was weighed and measured, and found wanting.

This year, she has chosen to live life (more or less) by a single word - INTENTIONAL.

It seems such a simple word, but wow...the impact that the IDEA of this word has had on me!!

Things as simple as a good morning kiss shared with my husband, or picking up dirty laundry.  Every single move I make, I have considered this word this week, in ways I had never EVER considered before.

It had never occurred to me before that in my pursuit of "social media," I had become disconnected from my own family.  It never occurred to me that in my desire to reach out to others, I had left my child(ren) "alone."

I have committed myself to leave pinterest and facebook, and the knit/crochet websites, and the little phone/Kindle games to their own devices for the evenings, and instead to spend time with my boy(s).  While I realize the games won't play themselves, they also won't notice that I'm not playing them.  There is other time for those things.  And if I come to a place where there isn't time for that?  What have a lost, really...?

And do you know what happened?  The first night, I slept.  Peacefully.  I spent time with my child, that wasn't rushed, and wasn't strained.  It was beautiful, and therapeutic, and a MOVING moment for me. 

I woke up the next morning prepared, knowing that in the evening, when I returned home, my boy and I could enjoy our time together, and not just share the same street address for an evening.

And that night?  He slept.  In fact, he slept in!

I know this is a new process for me, and that it will certainly take some adjusting.  And, all week, with all of this going on inside my head, and not SHARING it, my husband has somehow unknowingly supported this.  My desire to make REAL INTENTIONAL time for the boy(s) was complemented by my husband's hard work during the day, to prepare the house for our absence, while we walked to baseball, or spent time with our neighbors, or just sat and shared a hot dog on our front porch.

I *know* that God gave me my husband, to teach me, to help me, and to remind me that I can do things I never thought possible, or to do things I never had a desire to do. There are times when my husband has helped me, or supported me, and he doesn't know it, or heck- msot of the time, I don't even know it!  But, when I turn around and look back, I see that if it wasn't for his steady hand, and his faithfulness to US, I would be LOST (and probably wearing dirty underpants, or drinking last Thursday's coffee).  I don't know how to tell him properly just what he means to me.

Thankfully, he has given me the chance to spend a lifetime telling him, and showing him, just how special he is. 

There will (hopefully) be much more to come on this idea.  I hope that I can keep up with this journey, and I definitely need to start TALKING about it.  Or at least writing about it, and hoping someone sees.