The Day I Proved Irrelevant

It was an ordinary Monday. After a ridiculously frustrating day at work, I hopped in my car, and called - hoping to hear from my Mother-In-Law that Ben had decided he was moving in with Nonna...at least for the night.

Instead, she said, "He's playing outside right now.  He's got a weird bug bite, or something on his legs.  Did you notice it?"

I thought, 'Wait - am I supposed to figure out how to get this child to stop moving long enough for tick checks or something?  I live in the city - why would I do that? No, I didn't notice it - I wrapped him in a blanket, and prayed that when I placed him in bed last night, that he would stay there, and not think of seven-hundred things he forgot to do today, and that he needed to do immediately, so that approximately 6 minutes later I could also go to sleep. Shoot - another thing to add to my "WHY ARE YOU BEING A BAD MOM" list.'

But, I know her question is out of concern, not judgment, so I answer, "no, I didn't see anything last night, but I'm sure he's played outside all day.  I guess I'll check it out when I get there."

*sigh*

I was so close to getting an evening to crawl in bed after dinner...

*double-sigh*



 

 

When I get there, I see this rash - it looks like an angry mosquito bite...I tell my MIL, "It's weird - it kinda looks like...a hickey?"  Weird...

 

Thirty minutes later, it's looking like this:

 

 

 

So, we head home.  I give him Benadryl, and wash his legs, thinking maybe this is an allergic reaction.  It's possible, right?

 

Nope.

 

An hour later?  We have this:

 

*GULP*

 





The next morning, we go to see the Pediatrician, and he says, "It's bruises...it's all bruises."  By this time, they're down his legs, on his bottom, and starting on his feet.

 

Doc says, "Blood work.  Get to the lab.  Now.  No, you can NOT stop for lunch.  You must go.  Now. I will call, and you'll be STAT.  Tell them I called ahead for you - get there now."

 

Um...wow.

 

The next 12 hours were the most terrifying of my life.



 

 

Blood work was inconclusive, and Doc said, "I have no idea.  Get to the ER. No, not the local one - you need to get to Children's Hospital.  They'll have oncology and cardiologists on-site."

 

I'm sorry - did you just say ONCOLOGY???  As in...the C-word that no one that has ever loved anyone wants to hear???  I must've misunderstood you...

 

I did not. 

 

 

After how sick I was during my pregnancy - bed rest for 4 months, strange medications with risky complications, early induction, all that stuff - I was terrified what it may do to our little guy.  I was scared that the treatments to help keep ME safe during my pregnancy would cause problems with him.  Then, when he came, he was absolutely perfect.  He was the healthiest of all our children - I was so thankful.

To think that in mere moments our life could be turned completely upside down, and that this little person's life was TRULY on the line...I have never been so scared in my life.

 

We called everyone we've ever met, and said, "Please.  Pray.  Stop what you are doing, and pray."

And, I'm so beyond thrilled to report that while he is sick - ear infection and some congestion in his lungs, he's good!  It was a virus called HSP - Henoch-Schonlein Purpura - which is a virus-type issue that causes inflammation in the blood vessels.  In six weeks, it should be gone.

When you're sitting with your child, watching bruises appear out of NO WHERE...there is NOTHING can explain the terror.

What amazed me was his JOY through it all.  All the "new people to meet," as he said.  The only disappointment he had was that they tried to make him wear a dress (his hospital gown).  Heeheehee...that's why he's in his undies in all our pics.  With the gown on?  He was looking like this...

Poor Baby Boy in a Dress :o)

 

It's astounding to me how bitter and resentful I had become from the pressures of everyday life.  I didn't realize how selfish and whiny I had become.  God chose this as a moment to snap me out of it. 

 

Of course, he scared the bejeebus out of me...but maybe that's what it would take to see the reality of what I was becoming.

 

I'm just so thankful that he chose to give me a warning - and remind me that we may not have these little people forever, and that there are so precious few moments with them.

 

 

 

 



 

 



 

 

 

Hit the Ground Running!

As we always do, the very first unofficial week of summer (meaning, the first weekend after the last day of school), we hit the campground.  Typically, the boys get out of school Father's Day weekend, so we go camping to celebrate the end of the school year AND spending time with Dad!

This year, however, they were separate, consecutive weeks - so instead of choosing one or the other - we went BOTH!  The first weekend, it was just us 5 and the dog. 

It rained the ENTIRE. TIME.

 

 

Thankfully, our boys are NOT made of sugar...so we all survived.  :)  Our arrival was cloudy and cool, but there was no way we weren't gonna go to the beach!  After about 10-minutes, it began to POUR...I don't think the boys noticed, though...

Look at that little man running for the sand!!!!

The boys got lots and lots (and more lots) of puddle-jumping for the weekend, and sometimes Dad even joined in! 

 

 

Bike-riding required goggles...you know, just in case

 

After a wonderful, if soggy, weekend, we came home and prepared for Fathers Day!  Our little family has gone ever year since we were married.  It's such a great time!  Every year, my siblings keep saying they wish they'd thought to join us - and this year, most of them did!  So, our little five-member family was joined by Aunts, Uncles, and cousins to join!  We totaled 13 in all for Fathers Day staying, and my parents came out for Saturday afternoon!

 

We had our boy(s), and my sister's boys in our camper at night - at 6 months and 19 months, my brother's kiddos are just a bit too little to spend the night...

 

*phew*

 

This was the wake-you-up crew!

 The Wake-up crew started being silly and BOYS about 6am, and would go-go-go-go until about 10pm...when they looked a bit more like...





Camping is TOUGH WORK!

It was such a wonderful time!  So much so, my Dad has determined that the ENTIRE family should start going every year now.  *grin*

 

This is old news for our boy(s), but the rest will be thrilled, I'm sure!

 

We have lots planned for this summer - I hope I remember to take pictures of the rest!!!!





Pic for the Day...

No Story.

No Explanation.

Just a Photo.

Just Joy.

This weekend, we took our back patio from this poor sight..

 

 



Dirty House...dingy, odd patio furniture...



 

Scattered stuff...general yuck...

To THIS!!!!

 

The Whole Patio!



The gray blocks were spares :o)
But we got new chairs, too!

Our A-MAZING new Cinder Block Patio Sofa (and my spokesmodel)

 

I'm WILDLY in love...and want to spend every waking minute out there! The sofa turned out so much better than I anticipated, and I'm just thrilled!

 

We spent much of about 5 days getting it together, and then Saturday I made the cushion and "staged" the rest of the patio.  There are lots of details that I'm just thrilled about, and I may touch on some of them later. 

 

The first, and dearest to my heart...the old coffee can of hens and chickens. 

The hens and chickens are the "chicks" from an old tire my grandma kept that was FULL of chickens.  The coffee can, weathered and worn, held a random collection of screws, nails, and scraps that we found in my grandpa's attic.  Grandma's succulents, in Grandpa's coffee can?  It just makes my heart skip a beat.

The can is TERRIBLY worn, and rusted.  I need to find a way to preserve it in its crusty, rusty state it's now in.  I fear that one good rain will have it rusted through. 

Overall, I'm LOVING this change!!!



Proud (Step)Mom Moment

Look at this little man...



Ready (step) Mom's angle...

 

 

 

Go!  (Dad's angle)

He's been telling his coach for weeks that he wants to pitch.  That's tough to do in a machine-pitch league.

Last night, he got his chance!

He was so proud of himself...and he should be!  He struck out the first three kids!  :o)

I LOVE IT!

Spring!

Our days are full of baseball, and caring for these tiny plants, while doing our best to nurture these little souls.

 

 

Ben Showing off his HARD WORK

 

 

Andrew hadn't even had his first game, and had dirty knees!

 

 

Connor, Our Catcher

Spring always hits like a flash, and we're off - running like headless chickens. 

My introverted brain becomes overwhelmed, and I shut down.  It's frustrating to me that the weather has finally broken, and we're getting more sun than snow (finally!), and I want to hide.

I panic. 

All those people; all those PLANS.  Will I ever have time to clean the house AGAIN?  When will we return to having time for NOTHING?

But, I remember that my boys have been waiting patiently for MONTHS for these days.  Five days a week at the ball field, and they're in Heaven.  We can be outside, with friends, and neighbors, and family from dawn til dusk. 

So, I take a great, big breath, and I remember that I want them to be outgoing people, that enjoy every moment of their life.  And, it's in those moments that I'm so proud of them, and who they are becoming, despite their (step)mom. 

My Weekend...

*sigh*

 

 

 

A strange thing happened to me this weekend, sitting in the hallway, or on the side of the tub (at the SCUBA Hippo...), or wherever I was "allowed," by the little man learning to take care of business...

 

For the FIRST TIME since becoming a mother, his growth bummed me out a bit.

 

I should be THRILLED that we're finally boarding the potty train...hahahaha, see what I did there???

 

Ha!  Sorry...

 

Yes, I should be jumping with glee that the days of SCORES of dollars going to diapers are nearly behind us.  I should be excited that the times of cleaning someone's waste off their bottom are almost done.  Instead, I became rather sad.  Sad that the days of my BABY are ending. 

 

Sad that after all this time, and yes, it's been a LOOOOOONG time, my BABY will be a BOY.

 

I know that he's still my baby, and that all that's really happening is that he is developing properly.  But, it still makes me sad. 

 

He's my boy...but he's my BABY.

 

Good bye, baby Ben.

 

*sniff-sniff*